so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
