my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize