Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
