we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
