you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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