i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
