your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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