This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
