I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
