Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
