about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize