Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
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I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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