It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
