i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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