Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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