Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
