The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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