Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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