they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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