Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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