I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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