Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
