billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
