The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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