I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
