she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Actions speak louder than pants.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
