Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
