She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do herpes really smell.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
