I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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