i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize