Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
