I hate all girls vehemently.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
