We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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