You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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