we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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