I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
