yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
