apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
