Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
