So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
