Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Found the puke drawer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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