Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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