I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
