i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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