I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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