So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
