My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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