I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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