you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
