Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
