Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize