I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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