I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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