9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
