Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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