dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
