just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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